The Cullen Family
by kikikinz
Summary: Will hilarity and hijinks break out when The Cullen Family host a Halloween party to get to know their new neighbors? Entry for the Things that go bump in the night contest A collab with nicnicd.


**The Sandbox Presents: Things That Go Bump in the Night**

**Author: nicnicd & kikikinz**

**Story Title: The Cullen Family**

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: We don't own, we only mess around!**

**Please visit the Bump C2 to find more contest entries:**

.net/community/The_Sandbox_Presents_Things_That_Go_Bump_in_the_Night/7

**They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky, they're altogether ooky... The Cullen Family**

**The house is a museum, when people come to see 'em, they really are a scre-am...The Cullen Family**

**So get a witch's shawl on, a broomstick you can crawl on, we're going to pay a call on... The Cullen Family**

The night was dark and damp, the overgrown path illuminated only by the flashes of lightning which followed the booming claps of thunder from the brewing storm. Somewhere deep in the forest a wolf howled. Its sound was ominous to the nervous townsfolk gathered in tight bunches around the door, the thick, dense fog clinging wetly to their heels. They stood on the vine covered porch, which was rotting through in some places, silently daring each other to knock on the door through pointed glances and gestures. Organ music wafted from a broken upstairs window, its tune eerie and haunting.

The house, a dilapidated old Victorian - creepy, spooky and altogether ooky- loomed like a dark force pressing down around them, causing an icy chill to run down their spines. Shadows were deep and dark and one young girl stared fixedly at one that seemed to be moving. She screamed suddenly, startling the others when the shadow moved toward her swiftly. The scream quickly turned to a sigh of relief when the dim light of the porch revealed the shadow was a black cat.

"Relax, Jess," her boyfriend Mike told her. Slipping a quivering arm around her that belied his confidence, he continued to try and dispel her fears. "It's only a pussy cat..." A juvenile snicker behind him was acknowledgement that someone had caught his joke and a mischievous grin stretched across his face.

She smacked his hand from her waist, pausing to adjust the cottony white tail of her Playboy bunny costume. Satisfied that she looked perfect, she turned her face back to him, frowning.

The other kids, all of them in their teens, jostled each other in an attempt to get someone to 'man up' and knock on the door. "C'mon man, do it," Tyler urged Eric, pushing him closer to the door. "Knock already."

The young blond - Lauren - seconded her boyfriend's dare. "Yeah, somebody knock," she said, shivering in her inappropriately cut witch's costume. "I'm freezing my ass off out here."

Eric, a nervous, awkward boy, shook his head vehemently, refusing to go any further. "Hell no," he stuttered, "I'm not going anywhere near that door. You do it," he told Mike, backing away and almost knocking over the cluster of girls.

"Yeah, show us what a man you are, Mikey," Tyler snickered as he himself moved a step backward, too.

Mike glanced at the door, suddenly letting out a nervous laugh. "Too bad the knocker looks like a gargoyle and not an actual pair of knockers..."

"Oh, for Pete's sake," Angela muttered, gripping Ben's hand tightly. "Will one of you just knock and stop being jackasses!"

Taking a deep breath, Ben garnered up his courage and strode briskly to the door, raising the over-sized metal knocker in his hand. Three echoing raps later, the door swung open, creaking ominously on unoiled hinges to reveal a towering figure shadowed in the even dimmer light of the open doorway. A sudden clap of thunder shook the porch and its inhabitants and they all gasped when the following lightning strike revealed the stiff form of Carlisle Cullen.

His eyes, set deep into the purple, bruise-like shadows underneath them took in their shaking, scared forms. "Welcome to the Cullen House," he intoned blandly. "May I take your coats?" He ushered them inside with a sweeping gesture, standing aside to allow entry.

Angela and Ben, being the closest to the door, entered the mysterious house first, followed closely by Mike and Jessica, and finally Lauren and Tyler. Angela, the only girl smart enough to wear a coat, handed hers to Carlisle revealing her 'Jean Grey' costume--a perfect match to Ben's Cyclops.

Eric's eyes darted nervously from side to side as if he were waiting on someone to creep up and snatch him. Tyler kept his gaze straight ahead while Lauren looked curiously around, her narrow-eyed, judgmental gaze taking in her surroundings.

More kids trailed directly behind them, newcomers to the original group. Their eyes took in the lush, blood-red fabrics that dotted the otherwise dank and dark entry way and great room. The furnishings, obviously expensive and grand at one time, were connected with interlacing cobwebs and covered in dust. The wallpaper, outdated and peeling in some places, resembled patterns of lace. At one time, it would have seemed elegant and sumptuous, but in these modern times seemed out of place and made the kids ill at ease. Adding to the creepy feeling were vases upon vases of flowerless stems on every available table in the room.

Lauren turned to Carlisle, who was watching their faces with feigned interest. "Wow, you really went all out on the décor; this place is positively creeptastic," she said, her tone condescending and full of snark.

"We like it," a bell-like voice rang out, drawing all eyes to the center of the room. There standing in the middle of the elegant, massive black wood staircase was a pale, but strikingly beautiful couple dressed head to toe in severe black, standing close together as if extensions of each other. The mirror behind them reflected the night-time scene outside as well as the pale hand of the disturbingly good looking guy gently caressing the cinched in, tiny waist of the mesmerizing woman beside him.

Her hair, so dark it seemed almost black in the low light of the room, was long and hung straight down her back in a thick curtain that brushed the arm of the gentleman clad in an exquisitely tailored pin striped suit beside her. Her long, sequined dress gathered in pools on the stairs behind her, the low neckline showing off her milky white flesh. The tight corset-like bodice of her dress made her already tiny waist seem that much smaller and pushed her chest up and out. This drew the eyes of nearly every male in the group of easily excitable teenagers, and a cross look flashed across the face of the obviously protective man curved around her. He made a sound in his throat, deep and rumbling, causing the boys to look at him in shock.

The young girls in the group looked at the man in awe, drawn to his stunning good looks and fiery, messy hair. He was lean and long, his jaw chiseled and sharp. Almost every one of them looked to the woman beside him with jealous eyes, casting covert glances at their suddenly unimpressive male companions next to them. All but one, that was. Angela smiled softly, in awe of the way the couple stared at each other—the dark beauty looked to him with rapt attention and his features relaxed softly, a tiny, crooked smile gracing his face.

"Cara mia," he whispered, brushing his fingers slowly along her collarbone, "you should introduce yourself... Our guests are wondering who you are."

She flashed an indulgent, knowing smile at him before snuggling deeper into his embrace and turning her body to face the gathered crowd. "Hello, I'm Bella Cullen. This is my Edward. Welcome to our home." She flashed a too-bright smile at them, her teeth white, gleaming and strangely unnerving.

Shocked by this, the kids glanced at each other, wondering at the claim laid to this odd, strange house. Granted, it was falling apart, but surely they were too young to own a house... Hell, they barely looked old enough to drive!

Out of the corner of her eye, Jessica noticed a new person float into the room. A tiny looking figure moved to the settee, taking a seat next to another new face, a young man that Jessica could have sworn wasn't there a moment ago. The pair wrapped their arms around each other, lounging lazily in the corner. The young lady wore a purple corset style dress with a black lace overlay and a black velvet rosette pinned to the neckline. She settled comfortably into her seat, crossing her legs which were covered in a pair of cobweb patterned tights. Her half boots were purple, too, and the brass grommets embedded into the velvet fabric glinted in the flickering light of a nearby candle.

Next to her sat an unassuming but somehow handsome guy with blond hair curling oddly around his face in an unfashionable style. His eyes flickered from person to person, and the uncomfortable look on his face never seemed to dissipate. The girl's features were pretty despite her bored expression. Her eyes seemed unfocused and faraway, as if she would rather be anywhere than this place. The man next to her shifted suddenly, drawing her attention. Her tiny hand shot to his shoulder and she pushed down roughly on it in a movement so quick that Jessica was sure she had blinked.

"Jasper, no," she scolded, shaking her head at him and causing the harshly cut black hair to whip around, obscuring her eyes. "I like it here, please don't."

"Anything for you, my love." He brushed the inky hair out of her eyes and leaning his face to her ear, he began to whisper. She giggled, a light tinkling sound that seemed in direct contrast to the bored expression on her face only moments before. She glanced up at seemingly no discernible sound and watched the room to her left, her disinterested expression returning once more.

"Who's ready to party?" a loud voice boomed. The now weirded-out kids tore their glances from the hodge-podge of already assembled family members to the large man now entering the room. He strode in whistling a jaunty tune, the long black robe he was wearing buttoned tightly up to his neck, carrying on the peculiar theme of non-sensical Halloween costumes. A gorgeous woman followed behind him casting withering glances around the room before her malevolent glare turned back to the giant in front of her. Her hand twitched around the candlestick she carried, and she began to raise it.

"Nuh uh," the jovial giant teased, turning to face her. "You promised..."

Her only response was a deep rolling of her jewel toned eyes, the skin under them a soft lavender color. "Whatever," she muttered, flipping her honey colored locks over her shoulder and striding to the center of the room. She placed the candlestick on the table closest to her, casting her in a soft glow. She stood regally, stunning in a pale pink sheath dress with a wide, white patent leather belt accentuating her small waist. A pillbox hat sat pinned to her hair. Her appearance was neat and crisp, and wholly different from the other family members. Taking in the quiet group amassed in front of her, she looked them up and down disdainfully, finally settling on Lauren. "Great outfit, did you make it yourself?"

Lauren opened her mouth to speak but was drowned out by a loud cackle coming from under the stairs. Everyone swiveled to see yet another pale-faced woman, draped in a dusty, flowing shawl. Her caramel colored hair, in desperate need of a comb, was partially hidden under a wide brimmed hat. She carried an empty punch bowl in one hand, a full jug in the other. The violently red liquid inside sloshed around with every one of her steps toward them. "I forgot to put out the punch," she announced to no one in particular.

She set her supplies on an old, beaten up table. Like everything else in the house, it looked to have been a handsome piece of furniture at one time, but was now battered and scarred from use and old age. She hummed a classic tune form the big-band era to herself as she set the chipped bowl in the middle, placing the matching - and equally chipped mugs - around it. The liquid was poured into the punch bowl, bright ruby red and thick in its viscosity.

"Who wants a drink?" she asked, turning to look over at the townies with a hopeful expression shining on her face. "It's my own special brew."

A silent war broke out amongst the rather large group, and finally Eric was pushed forward, the designated guinea pig. He stumbled over his large feet once before he righted himself. Taking small, cautious steps, he finally reached the table and with shaking hands took the proffered mug.

"Th-thanks," he stuttered before raising it to his lips to take a tentative sip. "It's good..." he announced, seeming surprised.

Taking Eric at his word, the townies began to descend on the refreshments. The girls giggled at the lavish gingerbread house, decorated eerily similar to the house they now stood in. Orange and green popcorn balls were heaped into a large bowl at one end, chocolate cupcakes made up to look like spiders at the other. The boys laughed at the bowl of peeled grapes - Eric stuck them to the ends of his fingers and wiggled them in Jessica's face. She squealed loudly and darted around him to hide behind Mike, complaining about stains on her costume. Lauren looked at the table covered in a fine layer of dust with evident disgust on her face.

The couple on the stairs turned to each other, ignoring the crowd below them. "A raging success," he murmured before moving his lips to hers. She smiled into the kiss, raising her hands to twine them into his already messy hair. His arms formed a cradle as he bent her backward, losing himself in the moment. They carried on that way, seemingly unaware and unaffected by the curious eyes watching them now.

A girlish giggle broke their trance, and they turned happy, unrepentant eyes to the doorway. A pretty young girl, her hair just as fiery as the gentleman standing on the stairs, stood in the doorway. Her companion, his dark hair hanging in long sheets around his face and obscuring his eyes save for a tiny section, laughed as well. He was large, nearly taking up the entire door frame, and his high pitched laugh caused the males gathered around the punchbowl to snicker to themselves. Edward and Bella smiled at them before turning their attention back to each other.

"Do you two _ever _quit," the girl, dressed demurely in nice black slacks and a cream wrap top asked, amused.

"Cousin Renesmee," Alice scolded with a laugh, "let them be, it's their anniversary."

The kids looked up from their cups, confused. "Anniversary?" Jessica questioned. "What, like... they're married?"

Jasper glanced up at Edward and Bella on the stairs, once again wrapped around each other in an embrace that was not polite for company. His eyes suddenly became heavily lidded and swiveled back to Jessica. "Yep," he drawled, slinging his arm around Alice and pulling her close. "They're, like... married." He then dropped his lips to linger on the face of the woman in his arms. Another giggle erupted from her, this time much deeper and heavier than before.

She reached her hand to cup his cheek tenderly. "Not now, Jazzy," she giggled again. "That'll happen... later."

"Ya promise?"

"Oh, there is no need for promises. I _know_," she winked suggestively.

Carlisle cleared his throat from the entry way. "If you'll follow me, we can now head to the ballroom," he said walking forward with a lurching gait. When he got to the woman with the caramel-colored hair, he stopped. "After you, Esme."

"Emmett, Rose," she called behind her, "bring the punch. I have a feeling we're gonna need it."

The blond woman rolled her eyes but crossed the room to the table, picking up an empty mug and looking at it with a twinkle in her eye. The deep chuckle from the large man, now directly across the table, caused her to glance up.

"Wouldn't hurt me," he snickered. "Not one little bit. C'mon, sweet-cheeks, lets go dance." They picked up the refreshments, table and all, and led the way to the ballroom, Rosalie ignoring the dropped jaws of the townies' faces and focusing instead on trying to upend the table onto Emmett.

Alice and Jasper stood and began ushering the bewildered group of teenagers into the hallway. Her voice floated toward them, once again unfocused and droll. "You guys are gonna love this…"

On the stairs, Edward and Bella broke away from each other at last. Noticing the sudden quiet of the room, they glanced around in a daze. "Where did everybody go?" she asked, her hands dropping down from his hair to lace his fingers in hers.

"I wasn't paying attention, Cara mia," he told her, tugging her to him, embracing her again. "I was preoccupied…"

She looked at him with understanding on her face. "As was I, my love. As was I."

Breaking his hold but still keeping their hands clasped, he began to lead her down the stairs. "Come, my darling," he murmured, "let us join our party."

~(o.O)~

They entered the once-grand ballroom, her hand held high in his as if he were showing off a thing of great beauty. And he was.

Smitten from the first moment he saw her, though he did not understand this until later, he coveted and claimed her as his own. She had never given him a moment's pause in her deep, undying devotion, and tonight they celebrated their anniversary.

October 31st, a night to the rest of the world that was synonymous with sweet treats and silly tricks, meant something different to Edward and Bella. It symbolized the time already spent together, and the many, many more days to come. The household was filled with love and laughter, their cherished family always near.

Glancing around the room, he took in the lustful thoughts reflected back at them from both the male and female eyes watching as they made their grand entrance. He longed to shield her from the lustful gazes held far too long by those with no right, but the promise he'd given of happy times and pleasant memories held his tongue. Seeing her face glow with happiness made the restraint worth it.

The family stood by as well, clustered in small groups here and there. Alice and Jasper stood gazing at each other in a dark corner off to the side, displaying body language and feelings that were intimate and powerful. Cousin Renesmee sat upon a deep blue velvet covered chaise, her companion standing close by. Emmett stood, arm slung around Rosalie's waist while she looked longingly at the crackling logs in the fireplace. Edward shook his head minutely, glad that Emmett had finally succeeded in preventing her from trying to throw him into the stone hole.

It didn't mean she wasn't still thinking about it, though…

A movement behind the curtains drew his attention. He chuckled, amusement overcoming him with swift, abrupt force. The long dusty shawl discarded at the floor of the window told the story of what was going on behind the tattered velvet drapes.

"Edward," Bella teased. "Darling, whatever is the matter?"

"My Bella," he crooned, spinning her toward him. "They are enjoying themselves."

Esme and Carlisle were at it, again…

Jasper, looking up from Alice's eyes, laughed lowly. The tiny female beside him cracked a smile, too. Emmett's head snapped up at the sound and he glanced at the window before breaking into a booming laugh. Rosalie even cracked a smile, her normally sour countenance brightening.

The teenagers gathered warily around the punchbowl began tittering before returning to raid the refreshments.

Esme's special brew was a hit.

A sudden organ blast caused the punch-drunk crowd to jump, and they looked at each other in alarm. Alarm raced across the faces of the townies once they realized everyone was accounted for. Chills danced down their spines and they stared at Edward spinning Bella away from him once before pulling her back into his embrace. She laughed delightedly, throwing her head back and exposing her pale, slender neck to him.

He dropped his head down to kiss a slow, thrilling trail from their joined hands to her ear. Pulling her more firmly to him, he whispered, "Cara mia, may I have this dance? Although, I think your father objects."

Carlisle lurched into view, placing an old cylindrical tube into the ancient phonograph. The large, brass horn attached to it was surprisingly shiny, the only thing in this odd house that seemed to be. The sound of crackles filled the room before a haunting old waltz began to drift out into the ballroom.

The couple in the center of the floor moved gracefully, spinning and twirling in time to the music. Neither one paid any attention to where they were or to their captive audience. His face disappeared into the crook of her neck, and the girls sighed enviously as she moaned in delight. After a moment, his head popped up and they shared a secretive grin. Dress trailing behind, always threatening to become tangled and trip her, they spun gracefully around the dance floor. He kept his grip firm on her, just in case.

Old habits die hard, after all.

Entranced, everyone in the room watched them. The girls looked on enviously, some of them poking their dates in the ribs for not paying them near as much attention as Edward seemed to pay his wife. Such devotion, for one so seemingly young… A rarity these days. The guys, whose minds were one-tracked after all, watched Bella and the way the shiny black dress clung to her curves.

Edward shot a warning look toward the faces watching his lovely Bella with their less than proper thoughts evident. The boys' legs carried them a step backward, subconsciously seeking the safety of their group.

Something caused Carlisle's head to snap up and look toward the front room intently. He bent down to Esme, now at his side, and murmured, "The Family is here."

He left the ballroom quietly, disappearing around the corner and out of sight. He made his way to the front door and, swinging it open, took in the cluster of his extended family standing before him. Tanya and Irina were closest, wide grins on their pretty faces, dresses sewn together seamlessly.

"Why Carlisle, it's been eons!" they squealed in unison.

"Ladies, welcome again to our home. We've already begun gathering in the ballroom."

They sauntered off in the direction of the party, hips swaying, always together. He turned back to the other couples gathered on the porch, gesturing them in with a gallant bow.

"Carmen and Eleazar, what a pleasant surprise. We're all so happy you could make it." Carmen leaned up to kiss Carlisle's cheeks while Eleazar clapped his hand to the tall blond man's back in greeting. Behind them stood Kate and Garrett, his arm slung carelessly around her waist while she beamed up at Carlisle.

"Oh my gosh, it's so good to see you again!" She flung herself out of an amused Garrett's arms and into a surprised Carlisle's.

"I'm glad to see you as well," holding on awkwardly for a moment before he released her. "And Garrett. I see the vegetarian lifestyle sits well on you."

"Yeah, no more meat for me," Garrett joked, patting his stomach. Kate smirked up at him, but her eyes reflected pride in his restraint.

"Come join the others in the ballroom. I know Bella has missed you both tremendously and is anxious to see you again." He led them both down the hall to a set of dark double doors. Garrett threw them open, causing the townsfolk to jump slightly, yelps coming out of several of the girls and one very embarrassed Mike.

Tanya and Irina had made their way toward Emmett, who was regaling them with grandiose stories of hunting in the woods of Northern Canada. They sat looking up at him through their horrible glued-on lashes, totally missing the murderous looks bestowed upon them by a very angry Rose.

"Why Emmett, you must be so big and strong to have survived something like that," Irina gushed to him. Tanya nudged her annoyingly, ready to jump in with her own compliment.

"Oh Emmett, your costume makes you the most handsome man in the room," she simpered, tossing her long hair over her shoulder, smacking Irina in the face with strawberry blond curls.

Rose snorted from behind Emmett, rolling her eyes at the girls over his shoulder and leveling a death stare. She was plotting, again.

Ignoring his wife behind him, he leaned down to the girls, a sly smile on his face. "Of course I could never outshine two jewels such as you. You simply light up the room." The girls giggled and batted their eyes in an eerie simultaneous manner.

Rose's eyes shot between the girls and Emmett, blazing with fury. Her lips were set in a tight, determined sneer as she reached for a knife lying near the over-sized cake. She made a move toward Emmett, holding the knife in front of her. He turned to his wife, an amused look on his face.

"Honey pie," he scolded. "You're going to have to try a lot harder than that to do me in!" Her eyes went from him to the girls, now sitting wide-eyed on the couch. "Ah ah ah pumpkin, you promised." She huffed at him and tried to slip the knife in her belt, glaring at Emmett once again when he went over and quickly relieved her of the weapon.

The town kids watched the show, bewildered and more than a little frightened of the gorgeous, statuesque blonde.

Bella and Edward stopped dancing and glanced around at the late arrivals to the party. They smiled warmly at Kate and Garrett who stood talking animatedly to Alice and Jasper before striding over to greet Carmen and Eleazar.

"Eleazar, Carmen, so nice of you to come," Edward said warmly to his old friends.

Bella moved to kiss the couple's cheeks before greeting them warmly. "I've missed you both so. You mustn't stay away so long again."

They continued to chat, moving the couple to a pair of antique wingback chairs grouped around the fireplace. The women took the seats, and began to chat about a recent trip to Italy that Carmen and Eleazar had just returned from. The men stood beside them, catching up.

Tanya and Irina made their way over to the two couples, interrupting their private conversation with tales of how they could have had Edward before Bella came along if they'd wanted. Bella looked over at Edward with amusement lighting up her golden eyes.

"Oh girls, I'm so glad you didn't. Really, how could I compete? You're twice the woman I am!"

They laughed, agreeing. They exchanged pleasantries for a few more minutes, flirting with Edward unashamedly while Bella looked on with a dancing over her face.

Their egos properly restored, they made their way over to Renesmee and her companion.

"Oh Jake," the girls simpered in unison while Jake rolled his eyes over to the lovely woman-child sitting next to him. "I love your costume! It makes you the hottest man in the room."

Jessica leaned over to Lauren, whispering loudly, "This place is an even bigger freakshow than I thought. If the guys weren't so hot, I'd leave."

The offhand comment caused Alice to look up, staring at them blankly. She smirked at the townies suddenly, her eyes alight with glee.

A flash of hurt crossed Mike's face. Turning to his friends he spoke in a louder than normal tone. "Dude, the chicks here aren't too bad on the eyes. I wouldn't mind showing that chick in the black what's what," he laughed, casting a quick glance over at Bella who was still talking to Carmen by the fire.

Edward made a menacing sound low in his throat before lunging toward the obviously stupid Mike. Oblivious to the enraged man coming at him, Mike raised a drink back to his mouth, looking up to see Jasper and Emmett suddenly in front of him.

Somehow aware of what was about to happen, they formed an obstacle between Edward and Mike. Emmett's large, muscled arms formed an iron-like snare around Edward's frame, and he drug him away from the boy with Edward protesting under his breath the entire way. Jasper turned to the startled group, smiling lazily at them before darting after Emmett and Edward.

He reached their side, grasping Edward's elbow loosely. "Relax, man, don't ruin Bella's night."

Edward's eyes instantly rose to meet Bella's amused face, and shaking her head at him, she rose from her seat. Crossing the room swiftly, she reached for his fingers and grasped them tightly in her own tiny hand. Emmett and Jasper, knowing that she would calm him better than even they could, went back to the party.

"I'm sor-" his low apology was cut off when she placed her finger on his lip, shushing him softly.

"My dearest, he's just a boy," she murmured, bringing her lips to his ear, "only a fleeting speck in our existence. Don't you know that nothing, that _no one_ could ever tear me away from you, mon cheri...?" she asked in a soft, low voice; her whispering lips blowing drafts of cool air along the skin of his neck.

"Cara mia..." Overcome with love, he swept her into his arms, passionately laying siege on the responsive skin of her neck. Her hands slid into his hair, the tugs eliciting a growl from him. Pulling his face to hers, she kissed his top lip before moving to pull his bottom lip between her teeth. She bit softly at his flesh before darting her tongue out to soothe the sting of her playful nip. He opened his mouth to hers, their tongues touching, teasing, tasting... Their lips still fused together, she moaned desperately, swooping her hands down to firmly grasp his deliciously rounded ass. He moaned in delight, moving his hands slowly along the sides of her hips, torturing her endlessly.

"Edward! Bella!" Esme scolded good naturedly. "There are children present."

Ignoring her whispered warnings, they continued their passionate kiss, losing themselves to the electrifying sensation running between them. When Edward's hand swooped lovingly over Bella's hip, moving down her outer thigh and around the back, Esme pulled a bell from the deep pocket of her dress and gave it a sharp ring.

Again, a sudden blast of loud, angry organ music startled the gathered group, and Edward broke his lips away from Bella's with a reluctant groan.

~(o.O)~

Upstairs, the still over protective father wiggled his fingers over the ivory keys of an extremely dusty organ. Known for stalking around the attic like a bat, he had a talent for interrupting moments between his daughter and the son-in-law he had gradually come to accept. It didn't mean that the way they got so completely wrapped up in each other still didn't make him uncomfortable.

On one hand, he knew that she was a grown up now and that he shouldn't get so upset. But on the other hand, she would always be his little girl.

He stood from his seat, stretching his creaking muscles with loud snaps and pops, and made his way to the hallway and down the stairs. Fingers trailing along the banister, he paused at the base of the stairs and looked at the family photographs on the wall. There he was with Bella on her wedding day; the black lace veil obscuring her face matched the dyed dress, and her lips were curved into a secretive smile. Although he had thought it an odd choice for a wedding gown, the color more fitting for a funeral than nuptials, she still looked beautiful, her youthful face just as stunning then as it was today.

He grimaced, a slight shudder running through his withered frame. "Damn house, always so drafty..." he muttered.

Reaching the heavy doors of the ballroom, he pulled them open and glanced inside. "What are all these damn kids doing here?"

Alice, who had crossed the room to meet him, took his hand gently in hers and led him to a seat at the table. "Thank you Alice," he smiled, still wrapped around her finger as much as the first day they'd met. He glared over at the townies before rolling his eyes back to Alice.

"Anything for you, Charlie," she smiled at him, running her fingers quickly the remaining wisps of curls, now a silvery white. She straightened his out-of-date suit lapels and nodded to herself. "I still got it," she chuckled.

"I don't know why you even bothered inviting them. They won't be around long enough for you to care what happens to them anyway." He snorted at the little gasps that emanated from the girls, drumming his fingers in an agitated pattern on the table beside him.

His hand dropped to his waist suddenly and he looked up at Bella, shocked and upset. "Where the hell's my gun at?" he cried out.

Bella, sensing her father's confusion, floated over and began to comfort him. His eyes shined at her adoringly as he settled back into the chair quietly. Edward swiftly brought him a drink and once again took Bella's hand in his.

"Ch-Dad," Bella said, "You don't need your gun, remember?"

He rolled his eyes, looking pointedly away from her. "Hmmph."

Meanwhile, Tanya and Irina, sensing a distraction, made their way over to Eric. With every step they took, his face grew more fearful. When they finally stood before him, leaning a little too close for comfort, he took a step backward only to meet the wall behind him. He gulped, and the movement of his Adam's apple drew their hungry eyes to his neck.

"H-h-hello," he stuttered lamely. He backed even further into the wall when each woman shot a hand out to rest on either side of his head, leaving no way out. He tucked his chin down, obscuring their view of his neck. They glanced up at him, a disappointed look on their faces.

"Do you know," Tanya began, using the fingers near his head to tickle behind his ear, "that your costume makes you the most handsome man in the room?"

"N-no, I didn't, he said, voice cracking. "T-thank you?" Their attention caused his nerves to react. Pulling at the neck of his tunic, he tried to surreptitiously fan his suddenly overheated body. "It's Legolas," he told them proudly, gesturing to the plastic bow and arrow set strung behind his back. At their blank look, he continued. "You know, from Lord of the Rings..."

"Oh," they said in unison, suddenly uninterested. "Well, have a nice time," Irina called over her shoulder as they turned away. Bending their heads together and whispering conspiratorially while glancing around the room, their eyes lit with interest once more. They scurried over to the group of boys now talking in the corner. Moving quickly, Mike and Ben suddenly darted over to the girls, leaving Tyler alone and defenseless against Tanya and Irina. They once again cornered their prey, trapping him between them and the roaring fire.

"Did you know," Irina purred at Tyler," your costume easily makes you the best looking man in the room?" He rolled his eyes slightly at the compliment he'd heard several times before.

"Really?" he dropped a bit sarcastically." I didn't think girls liked the white trash trucker look." He gestured to his tight dirty jeans and white wifebeater with a holey flannel over it. A beat up cowboy hat and scuffed work boots completed the look.

"Oh, well... we're not most girls," Tanya purred, running her hand up his chest to rest against his throat. She caressed the warm skin, causing his heart to begin beating erratically. They both leaned closer to him, once again invading someone's space.

"You smell _so_ good..." Irina sighed quietly, Tanya silently agreeing with a quick nod. Their gaze sharpened on the boy, eyes hungry with what he thought was desire. They grinned wickedly at each other, and stepped a bit closer.

Alice called Carlisle's name and he glanced up from Esme's eyes to answer. He followed her blank stare to the corner of the room and huffed loudly. "Oh, not again'" he muttered, leaving his wife's side and crossing the room at a hurried pace. "Ladies," he said, grabbing their elbows and pulling them securely to him. "You look parched. Allow me to get you a drink."

With that he pulled them away from the mildly disappointed boy, scolding the girls with his eyes. Alice sat back in Jasper's arms, satisfied she had stopped yet another potential disaster. Once again, her eyes became vacant and glazed-over for a moment.

Without warning, her bell-like laughter pealed out over the crowd. At Jasper's look, she merely smiled and shook her head at him, indicating he needed to be patient. Her gaze moved to Edward, and a wicked grin spread about his face before he dropping down to whisper into his love's ear.

Emmett crossed the room, shaking his head at the entire situation. He clapped Jasper on the back, leaning down to look stoically at Alice. "You should have let them have their fun," he joked. "This party is dead boring."

Edward's quiet hiss and the fallen look on Bella's face told him that he had misspoken. He adopted a repentant puppy dog pout, mouthing a silent "sorry" to Bella. Gazing at him for a moment, she drew her lip in between her teeth and looked down.

Edward, noticing this, leaned his head down and drew a finger slowly up her arm. Lifting her face to his, he bent low, shielding her face from the view of the assembled revelers.

"Cara mia," he whispered, his voice the texture of silken sheets—soft and inviting. "Have I not promised you a good time? Do not fret, the night is still young."

They became lost in each others eyes, and he bent his mouth to hers... once again.

"Oh for Christ's sake! Is that all you two do is make out? Jeez!" Lauren's whiny voice broke through all other conversation. Happy that the attention finally shifted to her for once, she grabbed Jessica and Mike, leading them out to dance. "I can't dance right to this music!"

Alice rolled her eyes and Emmett left her and Jasper to enjoy their own company. He crossed the room to his wife, swatting her on the ass and booming, "Hey Pumpkin, let's show these kids how to par-tay!"

Rolling her eyes at him, she followed anyway, never one to pass up a chance to show off.

He spun her around the floor, his eyes softening as her hair swung out and her face cracked into a tiny smile. "See, told ya we'd have a good time," he laughed, spinning her faster.

The party continued around them, more and more couples making their way to the floor. Garrett grabbed Kate, causing her to throw her head back and trill a tinkling laugh. Carlisle offered his hand to Esme. He led the bedraggled woman out to the floor, the dusty shawl in danger of slipping off her shoulders as he began to move their bodies in time to the music. Alice and Jasper linked fingers and moved to the edge of the floor, content to be alone together and away from the closely packed bodies of their family and the townies.

"See," Edward crooned, pulling Bella into the center of the throng of dancers, "I promised you a party..."

Sighing happily, she moved her body closer and melted into his embrace as he began to move them to the slow, haunting tune drifting out of the phonograph's horn.

Emmett and Rose whirled past the couple, caught up in their own world. Picking Rose up by the waist to spin her in the air, he lost his balance a little and almost dropped her on the floor.

"Watch it, you big lug!" she yelled at him. He put his hands up in a defensive position.

"Well, it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't gained a bit of weight back there," he grinned and reached to pat her less than ample rear end.

"Here it comes," Alice muttered to Edward and Jasper.

"What? What did you say to me?" she screeched, halting all other movement in the room. When he continued to grin, saying nothing, her body vibrated with temper. "I'll show you who needs to lose some weight, jackass!"

Before anyone could stop her, she pounced on Emmett and ripped his left arm from its socket.

A loud gasp rippled around the room, both frightened and amused eyes locked on the grisly scene playing before them. The townies' mouths hung open in shock and the girls backed into their date's arms, some of them turning their heads to hide in the boys' chests.

Jessica let out a loud screech when her backside met with Mike's suddenly soggy groin. "Ohmigawd! Did you, like, pee your pants?" she screeched, hopping away from him quickly and brushing a hand over her butt. "Holy shit, you did!"

Everyone in the room glanced quickly over to the boy, his Superman t-shirt half hidden behind the white button down. There, on his khaki-colored dress pants, was a very obvious wet mark.

Emmett doubled over in laughter. "Man of steel my ass," he chortled, making a move to clap his hands in delight. "Oh, yeah... Rose?" he questioned sweetly, shooting her a sheepish smile complete with dimples. "Rosie, baby, can I please have my arm back?"

The remainder of his severed arm caused the townies to run screaming out of the ballroom in terror. Tyler led the way out of the room, vaulting over a couch in the process. Following closely was Lauren flapping her arms crazily and emitting a series of high-pitched screams. Eric was next, stumbling over the hem of his costume, forcing him to drop the bow and arrows.

The sound of Jessica's click-clacking heels was almost as funny as the sight of the poofy white rabbit tail, now half attached and bouncing against her backside as she ran. Mike followed Jessica closely out the door, not too scared to miss the view she offered. His pants, still wet with the soaking he gave them moments before giving off an odor offensive to all left in the room.

The remaining vampires and the lone werewolf took off after them. Charlie croaked out a shaky "Hey", protesting at being left out of the fun.

"Sorry, Ch-Dad," Bella called out as she rushed to his side and swung him into her arms. He rolled his eyes, embarrassed at his forever-eighteen-year-old daughter carrying him as if he was merely a sack of potatoes.

The exchange took no time at all, and she sat him before the large picture window in the front room, making it just in time to see the hilarious sight of the retreating kids clearing the porch. Everyone crowded around, anxious for the show.

Eric, in his haste to get to the car, shoved Lauren out of the way, causing her to trip over a root and fall face first into the mud. Choking out a strangled scream, her mouth full of nasty wet dirt, she sprung back to her feet, spitting as she ran. Completely devoid of any sense of common courtesy in his petrified state, Tyler ran around her, digging for his keys as he did so.

Mike, still trying to redeem himself to Jessica, repeatedly attempted to take her in his arms to carry her to safety, but was met with several rebuffs before hearing her yell, "Stop trying to carry me, piss man!"

Head hanging down, he continued to the car. Ben pulled Angela along behind him, both of them giggling at their friends' misfortune. They dove into Tyler's van, the tires flinging a steady stream of mud behind them as they peeled away.

As they pulled away, Ben turned to Angela, his face awed. "How did they do that?" he wondered aloud.

Rose handed Emmett his arm with a satisfied smile. "Way to go, doofus," she said drolly, "now you've done it. We have to move, again."

"No!" Alice shouted, her face slipping into blankness as she searched their future. Edward began to chuckle softly behind Bella, slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her to him. Alice's face relaxed as the future told her what they all wanted to hear. "We can convince them it was all a trick. No one will be the wiser."

The family breathed a collective sigh of relief at the news. The vampires broke off to pursue other interests after the show outside was complete.

"Great party, guys," Emmett called over his shoulder as he and Rose made their way to their bedroom. "_Way_ better than the one we had for your twentieth anniversary."

Edward gently picked up his now sleeping father-in-law and carried him to his room, Bella following close behind. After tucking Charlie in soundly, the couple retreated to the wrought iron balcony in their lavishly decorated bedroom that overlooked the dark cemetery in the backyard.

A soft _whoosh _of air blew Bella's hair back slightly. She turned warm eyes to the mantel, where Edward had just lit the clustered grouping of candles. She smiled, her amber eyes alight with love for him. Holding out her hand for his as he returned to her side, she grasped it tightly and headed toward the open doors of their balcony.

They stood in the dark night, the candlelight from inside casting flickering shadows across their features.

"It was a lovely party, my beloved," she spoke quietly, not wishing to disturb the now calm air around them. "Thank you for giving it to me."

He pulled her into his arms, hands drifting to rest low on her back. He stroked her skin through the fabric of her dress, a content sound slipping from his lips.

"Anything for you, my love." He began to trail kisses up her arm ending at his favorite spot near the bottom of her ear.

No words needed between them, they turned in unison and drifted back into their room, the door closing with a quiet click behind them.

"Now, let me worship you."

**A/N We have to thank MusicJunkie for the masterful beta job. Thank you bubb, we love you munches and bunches! Click that little button down there, see if you can guess who took on which Addams Family character. This was a whole lot of fun so we hope you enjoyed reading it as much as we did writing it.**


End file.
